我們美國人的幽默~Budget Cuts

I couldn't possibly add ANYTHING to theses pictures.  They say it all.

DUE TO  BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE    EFFECTIVE  MARCH 15, 2009   NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.   Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy. Lunch Break: * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. * Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. * Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. The Management

Screen Cleaning

I know everyone doesn't clean their computer screen very often and it is hard to do the inside, so here.

Big Big world ~ My favor

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經典英文歌曲Big Big World

Stop trying to fix me and just let me whine

 

When your spouse is complaining about something or maybe someone at work -- your first inclination may be to offer solutions. That can be the wrong answer, according to some spouses and some experts.

The 'evil cycle'

That was something Ellen Moore discovered the hard way. The 37-year-old adolescent therapist just couldn't resist telling her husband Mike Moore, also 37, what she thought he should do anytime he complained about something.

"I think I'm really good at my job. But when it came to Mike, it's like the physician can't heal himself," says Ellen Moore, of East Haven, Vermont.

Around 1996, when Mike Moore was working in a factory, he confided in Ellen Moore about a hostile coworker. Ellen Moore insisted that Mike tell his boss. When he didn't, she actually phoned Mike's boss herself -- and he temporarily shut down the business to address the issue, Ellen Moore says. Mike Moore was not happy.

"She did not trust my judgment," says Mike, Moore now a stay-at-home dad to their three children, ages 8, 7 and 10 months.

For the next six years, the couple's problems escalated into what Ellen Moore refers to as "the evil cycle," where Mike Moore would complain about something, and she would offer advice that usually fell on deaf ears.

"He would shut down and that would make me more mad -- and then he would shut down more," she says.

"I didn't want to hear advice at that point," Mike Moore adds.

Frustrated that Mike wouldn't talk to her, Ellen Moore pushed back with a threat she did not really intend to carry out: "The only way to get him to pay attention was to say I wanted a divorce."

Ellen and Mike Moore were in couples counseling for two years. Though Mike Moore had tried to tell his wife he needed her to hold back on the advice, she was only able to take in the message when it came from a third party. Now, their 20-year-old relationship has never been better.

"He's come to value my opinion more," Ellen Moore says.

Communication 101

When two people are having trouble communicating, it is not only the advice giver who needs to develop new listening skills.

You can say: "I really need to chat about what's bothering me. Is it OK if I just vent and you listen? " Or: "I really need some help solving a problem, and I'm looking for your advice. "

"I realized it wasn't about fixing the problem, it was about letting her say what she had to say, to get everything off her chest," he says.

Can you hear me now?

Experts say it's important to understand the concept of metacommunication -- demonstrate to your partner that you are being a supportive, active listener:

• Maintain good eye contact

• Paraphrase the message. Tell the speaker, "What I hear you saying is ... "

• Put a feeling to it. Say, "That sounds like this is really difficult for you" or, "You sound really excited about this."

• Let your partner ramble on in order to come to their own conclusions and most people know the answers to their own problems.

 

 

When is over?

 President Barack Obama will say Tuesday that recent stimulus measures "are starting to generate signs of economic progress," but more tough times are ahead, according to advance excerpts of his speech.

President Obama on Tuesday will detail the work that remains to get the economy moving again.

 The White House described Obama's speech as a major address on the economy.

"The Recovery Act, the bank capitalization program, the housing plan, the strengthening of the nonbank credit market, the auto plan and our work at the [Group of 20 summit] have been necessary pieces of the recovery puzzle," Obama is expected to say in a speech at Georgetown University in Washington.

But economic improvements do "not mean that hard times are over -- 2009 will continue to be a difficult year for America's economy. The severity of this recession will cause more job loss, more foreclosures and more pain before it ends."

Obama also is expected to warn that "credit is still not flowing nearly as easily as it should" and that the ongoing process "for restructuring [insurance giant American International Group] and the auto companies will involve difficult and sometimes unpopular choices."

CNN contributor and Republican strategist Ed Rollins said Tuesday that Obama needs to remind the country that the economy is steadily moving forward. He also needs to provide encouragement, considering that Wednesday is tax day, Rollins said.

"A lot of people think about money and their own personal finances when you basically sign your name on that dotted line and send your tax dollars in, so to a certain extent it's a good time," he said.

The president has struck a more optimistic tone in recent days, saying Friday that he was starting to see "glimmers of hope in the economy," partly as a result of his administration's actions.

"I think there are a few glimmers of hope," Chrystia Freeland, the U.S. managing editor of the Financial Times, said Tuesday.

"There are some good signs, and also the stimulus is starting to work. That's a huge amount of money that the government is pumping into the economy. It has to have some impact, and it is. But I think it would be far too early to declare a victory," Freeland said.

Obama signed into law his $787 billion economic stimulus plan in mid-February, calling it the "beginning of the end" of the country's economic woes.

Nearly six in 10 respondents, or 58 percent, think Obama has a clear plan to get the economy back on track, according to a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released Tuesday.

That figure is more than double the 24 percent who think that Republicans in Congress have a clear plan on the economy. Nearly three in four polled said the GOP doesn't have a clear economic plan. Read more on the poll

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke was expected to say Tuesday that he sees "tentative signs" that the economic decline is easing.

"A leveling out of economic activity is the first step toward recovery. To be sure, we will not have a sustainable recovery without a stabilization of our financial system and credit markets," Bernanke planned to say in a speech at Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia, according to excerpts of his address.

"I am fundamentally optimistic about our economy," the excerpts say. "Today's economic conditions are difficult, but the foundations of our economy are strong, and we face no problems that cannot be overcome with insight, patience and persistence."

Lakshman Achuthan, managing director of the Economic Cycle Research Institute, said leading indicators such as the stock market and growth rate suggest that things may have bottomed out and the economy could be turning around.

"When you see that sequence, it foretells that essentially the worst may be upon us right here. So you're still going to see bad unemployment numbers and things of that nature, but forward looking, there are objective signs of hope," Achuthan said.

But he noted there's no clear science when it comes to the economy because there are "human

beings involved and we have all these crazy emotions."

"Preceding this crisis, we all had a huge error collectively of optimism, and following the crisis, just as the recovery is happening, we're all collectively going to have a big error of pessimism. It's the way it's worked since the beginning of time, and it will work this time, too," he said.

什麽是赤子之心啊?

Bella, 你仲乜唔去玩呀？來叫醒媽咪‧‧‥

媽咪，媽咪什么叫做赤子之心啊？

妳在那兒聽到的？為什么問？

唔‧‧‧我睇電視學的

Baby你冇人陪点可以悄悄地去睇電視？嗯？

No 呀！Daddy睇所以我又陪佢睇‧‧‧媽咪，我好想快Ｄ長大啊！

別著急長大啊，孩子‥‥‥人生至少有兩條途徑：第一條總是關心何時到達目的地，生活充滿緊張、焦慮。從不因成就獲得滿足和快樂，因為他活在永無止盡的期待中亦等待追逐下一個更大的方向，而達成了目標又會感得空虛失落，因為目標已經結束。他又必須為自己設下另一個目標，但一旦達成，還是一樣無法滿足他，所以他永遠無法享受過程，他可能可以攀上高峯，但行的途徑是充滿不安和煩惱。

那另一條呢？

另一條則是比較高明的途徑﹕把心放在旅途上，盡情享受沿途風光，有一顆雀躍的心緩步歡暢而行，樂此不疲去捉摸前進而非用攀登的高山的高度來衡量。有一顆雀躍、好奇的心的人会盡情享受旅程，不擔心會走向何處。他不會低頭趕路，埋頭趕到目的地，而是向周遭的世界敞開心胸。他的人生則是處處美景，而他也學著去充份享受。

媽咪，我唔明白你講什麽呢？？？

即是小孩一定要活得像個小孩。你不用著急，當時間到來你就會長大啦!

是嗎？會嗎？

妳只要保存著現在的開朗和喜悅，不要世故拘泥，寬厚待人，對自己也不多為難、不鑽牛角尖。就算在成人世界裡有工作、有經濟負擔及種種壓力﹔你只需要認真和智慧，以及內在如小孩保存著的開朗和無盡喜悅至老就可以啦！

嘻嘻，媽咪我都係唔明呀！你睇我剛剛找到了一隻小蛛兄，和它逗弄咗半天啊！你看看它幾得意！不過我唔玩啦，被妳玩啦。我要看魚魚呢！魚魚他們長大了很多啊！

呵呵呵

Bella.....妳不要跑給我停下來! 誰叫你將隻死蜘蛛放在我床上？？